It still hasn’t hit me really!!!!
D:

I thought it would be great. Be awesome. Be the best thing that I would enjoy to the next few weeks. It wasn’t what I expected. You texted me while at dinner with the family, and it broke my heart. A few simple words: “Even though we don’t speak it doesn’t mean I don’t think about you . Happy Birthday. ” they meant the world to me. Here I am at dinner and I get your text, my mood completely changed. I didn’t know how to answer you, or if I even should answer you. I want to talk to you so bad. I really miss you, it’s ridiculous. You were always there for me and you’re no longer here. It’s going to be 1 1/2 years we don’t speak. Time really flies. I really wish you were here for me right now. I wish things were different. I can really wish for so many things right now but the only thing I wish for is you to be back in my life. I’m glad you still think about me even though I’m not in your life anymore. I can’t believe that I’m breaking down like this. Everyone always sees me as the strong one in the family. I can get through anything but I never show my weak side. Very few have actually seen me break down and I’d like to keep it that way. On top of this my own friends pretty much blew me off. Well thanks. It was a night wasted for hanging out with them because they chose to be selfish. I should’ve just gone out with my sister. Everything just blowed today. Hopefully I’ll celebrate during prom weekend. Fuck it I’m drinking and I don’t care.

I’m sorry I was planning ahead for something that was never going to happen. It’s my fault.